krabi.
monkey!
more monkeys!
crap, it's sideways. i don't know why the computers keep doing that.
boats by ao nang.
-sg
2.29.2008
real quick
as usual, i'm a few days behind in posting and only have a little time to spare before i jump on a boat to ko phi phi. here's how thailand has looked through my eyes lately...
krabi.
monkey!
more monkeys!
crap, it's sideways. i don't know why the computers keep doing that.
boats by ao nang.
-sg
krabi.
monkey!
more monkeys!
crap, it's sideways. i don't know why the computers keep doing that.
boats by ao nang.-sg
royal flush
in my short time in thailand, i've already had a few run-ins, or near run-ins with the royal family. that's right, thailand is technically a kingdom, and everyone here is just ga-ga for their king. in fact, they have to be. despite having one of the more liberal media stances in the region, people are absolutely forbidden to say anything bad about the king. stories circulate of individuals who've spoken their mind, only to end up spending years behind bars.
pictures of the king + queen appear everywhere in public. gigantic pictures, in fancy, gilded frames. there are also numerous tributes to his sister, who passed away on january 2nd. in bangkok a few nights ago, i was trying to cross one of the major streets when i noticed all traffic was missing from one side. there were several policemen around, making sure pedestrians + traffic did not block the road. within a few minutes, the royal entourage passed by. i'm not sure if it was the king and queen, or just the queen (apparently the king almost never leaves his residence these days. he's 80, but you'd never know it, as most of the giant pictures you see are severely dated. but i digress.), but the amount of cars and people involved in the procession was astounding. there were a few cops at the start, followed by a maybach ($400,000 sweet, sweet ride), a few rolls-royce limos, a bunch more cops, yet another maybach, more rolls-royces, and then scores and scores of red mercedes coupes. naturally, these were followed by scores and scores of red BMW coupes. amongst all these official-looking cars were plenty more cops, on bikes and in cars + trucks.
in all, it took at least 5 minutes to pass. the cars in back had to have been a couple kilometers behind the lead. if something were to happen, there was nothing they could do other than block off the roads. in all, it was an amazing sight. i wish i had more details on what the procession entailed. and oddly enough, there were several military vehicles trailing about 15 minutes behind, once the road was re-opened. this group featured trucks full of soldiers similar to what you'd see at home, but also the occasional armored popemobile-like vehicle full of soldiers dressed like the foot guards of the u.k. you know, the ones who wear those red uniforms and puffy black hats. as regal as they look standing solitary guard in england, they look downright foolish when packed like sardines in the popemobile. they really resembled colored q-tips.
besides the monstrous procession, there was also a near-sighting of the queen the next day. it was buddhist lent, and she'd chosen to worship at the wat (temple) adjacent to the backpacker's ghetto in bangkok. a string of limos was parked in the middle of the street, and all traffic was stopped, including the bus i was waiting for. there were scores of people waiting for her to emerge, but no one knew how long she'd take. i waited for a little while, but only had so much time to spare (i was supposed to catch a bus, remember?). though the crowds of people waiting for her were 10 thick, i was elated to notice they didn't really impede my view. as far as the thai are concerned, i am a freaking giant. crap, i wish i'd gone to jr. high out here.*
well, if two almost-sightings of the kingfolk weren't enough, i took a boat that passed by the king's residence today. it's a fine looking place, tucked away on the lush, remote end of a peninsula near the town of ao nang. apparently, the king isn't staying there now ('cause he's busy parading through bangkok? i don't know), but it was still quite a sight to behold.
i'm leaving the country soon, but who knows, maybe i'll have another run-in, one with an actual sighting of thailand's a-list.
-sg
* actually, i still would've been tiny.
pictures of the king + queen appear everywhere in public. gigantic pictures, in fancy, gilded frames. there are also numerous tributes to his sister, who passed away on january 2nd. in bangkok a few nights ago, i was trying to cross one of the major streets when i noticed all traffic was missing from one side. there were several policemen around, making sure pedestrians + traffic did not block the road. within a few minutes, the royal entourage passed by. i'm not sure if it was the king and queen, or just the queen (apparently the king almost never leaves his residence these days. he's 80, but you'd never know it, as most of the giant pictures you see are severely dated. but i digress.), but the amount of cars and people involved in the procession was astounding. there were a few cops at the start, followed by a maybach ($400,000 sweet, sweet ride), a few rolls-royce limos, a bunch more cops, yet another maybach, more rolls-royces, and then scores and scores of red mercedes coupes. naturally, these were followed by scores and scores of red BMW coupes. amongst all these official-looking cars were plenty more cops, on bikes and in cars + trucks.
in all, it took at least 5 minutes to pass. the cars in back had to have been a couple kilometers behind the lead. if something were to happen, there was nothing they could do other than block off the roads. in all, it was an amazing sight. i wish i had more details on what the procession entailed. and oddly enough, there were several military vehicles trailing about 15 minutes behind, once the road was re-opened. this group featured trucks full of soldiers similar to what you'd see at home, but also the occasional armored popemobile-like vehicle full of soldiers dressed like the foot guards of the u.k. you know, the ones who wear those red uniforms and puffy black hats. as regal as they look standing solitary guard in england, they look downright foolish when packed like sardines in the popemobile. they really resembled colored q-tips.
besides the monstrous procession, there was also a near-sighting of the queen the next day. it was buddhist lent, and she'd chosen to worship at the wat (temple) adjacent to the backpacker's ghetto in bangkok. a string of limos was parked in the middle of the street, and all traffic was stopped, including the bus i was waiting for. there were scores of people waiting for her to emerge, but no one knew how long she'd take. i waited for a little while, but only had so much time to spare (i was supposed to catch a bus, remember?). though the crowds of people waiting for her were 10 thick, i was elated to notice they didn't really impede my view. as far as the thai are concerned, i am a freaking giant. crap, i wish i'd gone to jr. high out here.*
well, if two almost-sightings of the kingfolk weren't enough, i took a boat that passed by the king's residence today. it's a fine looking place, tucked away on the lush, remote end of a peninsula near the town of ao nang. apparently, the king isn't staying there now ('cause he's busy parading through bangkok? i don't know), but it was still quite a sight to behold.
i'm leaving the country soon, but who knows, maybe i'll have another run-in, one with an actual sighting of thailand's a-list.
-sg
* actually, i still would've been tiny.
2.28.2008
live fast, diarrhea
ah, alcohol: creator of friends, solver of problems, delayer of plans. i was en route from mae nam (north of the island) to chaweng (east coast), and had to stop somewhere in between in order to turn in my motorbike. where in between, i couldn't be sure. my vacant mind couldn't remember which place i'd rented it from, and the thai lettering on the front of the bike was doing nothing to help. all i remembered was, the rental place was actually a bar, and it was right next to another bar. after driving back and forth on the main street a few times, i saw a place that looked vaguely familiar. with about 5 minutes left to spare in my 24-hour rental (not like anyone here keeps track of time anyway), i was delighted to have found the place. as i pulled up, a lady standing in front smiled and waved to me. oh good, this must be the woman who rented me the bike. i walked up and handed her the keys, and she asked if i wanted a drink. sure, why not? i was gonna take a cab the rest of the way, after all. no reason not to drink. for some reason, my keys were returned to me. oh well, i'll do the check-in process later.
i was only a few sips into my chang beer when i met dwight and wendy, a middle-aged canadian couple who were spending several months in the region. they turned out to be really friendly, and over the course of a few more drinks, filled me in on a lot of information about ko samui and the rest of thailand. eventually, as it got dark, i realized i better get on my way to chaweng to find a place to stay. as it turns out, a cab to that part of the island costs more than the daily bike rental. it only made sense to hold on to the chopper for another day. however, when i tried to plead my case to the woman at the bar, she seemed utterly confused. after 5 minutes of speaking, gesticulating and trying every other method of communication imaginable, i finally learned that i was in the wrong bar/rental place. insert "all asians look alike" joke here. well, at least that explained why she'd given me my key back. 5 minutes later, everything was cleared up at the appropriate bar, and i was once again mapless, using my "all roads lead to rome" approach to bring myself to the desired town.
thankfully, on an island with few roads, getting where you want to go is never all that hard. what was hard, once in chaweng, was finding a hotel that had vacancy, and was hopefully affordable. it took 'til my 6th or 7th place to finally find a room. not only was it a great setup (close to the bars/shops, high ceilings, industrial-powered fan, clean-ish bed, flush toilet, and the rare + elusive heated shower), but it was remarkably affordable, too! wow, my ship had come in. i showered, cleaned up, relaxed a little, then set off to see the town.
needless to say, this hotel, like every one before it and i'm sure every one coming up, had a catch. a big catch. a great big, wall-shaking catch known as club moda (or something like that), which seemed to share a common wall with my room. apparently, club moda is THE place for loud music in chaweng. naturally, i didn't realize my proximity to the club until i turned in for the night, which was at 1:45. not to worry, bars in thailand all close at 2.
well, they're supposed to, at least. club moda kept their speakers turned up to 11 until 5 a.m. this wouldn't have bugged me so much if there wasn't a room full of australians who emptied into the hallways to carry out their loud and long conversations at 7 that morning. crikey!
will i ever get a good night's sleep here? stay tuned. next stop, monks and monkeys in the mountains of krabi.
-sg
i was only a few sips into my chang beer when i met dwight and wendy, a middle-aged canadian couple who were spending several months in the region. they turned out to be really friendly, and over the course of a few more drinks, filled me in on a lot of information about ko samui and the rest of thailand. eventually, as it got dark, i realized i better get on my way to chaweng to find a place to stay. as it turns out, a cab to that part of the island costs more than the daily bike rental. it only made sense to hold on to the chopper for another day. however, when i tried to plead my case to the woman at the bar, she seemed utterly confused. after 5 minutes of speaking, gesticulating and trying every other method of communication imaginable, i finally learned that i was in the wrong bar/rental place. insert "all asians look alike" joke here. well, at least that explained why she'd given me my key back. 5 minutes later, everything was cleared up at the appropriate bar, and i was once again mapless, using my "all roads lead to rome" approach to bring myself to the desired town.
thankfully, on an island with few roads, getting where you want to go is never all that hard. what was hard, once in chaweng, was finding a hotel that had vacancy, and was hopefully affordable. it took 'til my 6th or 7th place to finally find a room. not only was it a great setup (close to the bars/shops, high ceilings, industrial-powered fan, clean-ish bed, flush toilet, and the rare + elusive heated shower), but it was remarkably affordable, too! wow, my ship had come in. i showered, cleaned up, relaxed a little, then set off to see the town.
needless to say, this hotel, like every one before it and i'm sure every one coming up, had a catch. a big catch. a great big, wall-shaking catch known as club moda (or something like that), which seemed to share a common wall with my room. apparently, club moda is THE place for loud music in chaweng. naturally, i didn't realize my proximity to the club until i turned in for the night, which was at 1:45. not to worry, bars in thailand all close at 2.
well, they're supposed to, at least. club moda kept their speakers turned up to 11 until 5 a.m. this wouldn't have bugged me so much if there wasn't a room full of australians who emptied into the hallways to carry out their loud and long conversations at 7 that morning. crikey!
will i ever get a good night's sleep here? stay tuned. next stop, monks and monkeys in the mountains of krabi.
-sg
shitting pretty
for some reason, staying up 'til 6 a.m. drinking and dancing wore me out. maybe i'm just getting old, but maybe it's 'cause i'd felt like crap and barely slept for the preceding days. needless to say, conditions like this don't help...
my 'bed' was the portion to the right of the person in yellow. amenities here included, well, nothing really, unless you count insects.
once my full moon experience had come full circle, it was time to move on. i split off from team argentina and headed to ko samui for a little r + r. they were a great group of people, but my minimal spanish skills made me the odd man out in the group. they're sticking together for the next few days, then two of them are going to hong kong while the other hits laos. i may join her up there, if i can work it into my as-of-yet unplanned schedule.
my goal on ko samui was to find a beach bungalow in the middle of nowhere where i could kick my feet up and relax for a few days. i was craving my own space, not to mention a toilet with a seat. after a short boat ride to the island, i rented a bike (i've gone from fearing these things to loving them), and with no map and no idea where i was going, i began to head west. ko samui wasn't set up with travel agencies + taxis waiting around the pier like every other travel destination in the country.
eventually, my bike rolled to a stop just before sunset at a bungalow in mae nam, on the quieter, more peaceful side of the island. at first, my living arrangements there seemed ideal: a flush toilet, fan and bed in a private bungalow about 50 ft from the sand. sure, it woulda been nicer to find a place on the water, but by then it was getting dark, and i was more than happy with a place that accommodated both my weary head and weary ass.
of course, in a lesson i have experienced over and over on this trip, nothing is as it seems. as soon as i turned on the lights in my bungalow, i noticed bugs in the room. lots and lots of bugs. more specifically, mosquitoes. i know it's odd, but i'm just not a fan of these critters, especially not when there are enough of them to form a thin haze in the room. i immediately went to the owner of the place and pleaded for another bungalow. the conversation went something like this:
me: uh, pardon me, but there appear to be a whole bunch of mosquitoes in my room. can i get a different one?
thai lady (smiling): oh, no worry. we have mosquito nets for the windows. (apparently she meant screens, not nets)
me: in my room too?
thai lady (still smiling): yes.
me: well, mine aren't working. in fact, if they are working, all they're doing is keeping the mosquitoes from getting OUT.
thai lady (silent, smiling. thai people love to smile, especially when they're at a loss for words)
me: can i get a different room?
thai lady (smiling, of course): oh no, no more rooms. not for that rate.
apparently, the other rates were a little too high for my liking, and still didn't guarantee against mosquito infestations. but hey, nothing builds character like a whole new test of my endurance and limitations. and bugs or not, at least i had a toilet to call my own. after burning my quads spending a large portion of the last few days in the squatting position, there was no sound i was happier to hear than that of flushing water. i would've stayed in the bathroom all night just listening to that sweet siren song if it weren't for the fact that the skeeters were using that room as their HQ.
the fact that i survived the night with only a single bite is a testament to three things: my bug spray, mosquito coil and mosquito net. up 'til now, i'd only used the spray once on the trip, and the coil + net were still in their original packaging. all of a sudden, my fear of coating myself in stinky, sticky chemicals went out the (mosquito-netted) window. and so what if the instructions for the coils said not to burn them indoors? when the options are choking a little or itching a lot, i'll pick the fumes any day.
here's what my bed in paradise ended up looking like:
yeah, the net wasn't even big enough to cover the whole bed, so i had to weigh down the corners with my bag + a pillow. i slept well enough, considering the conditions, and ended up spending the majority of the next day in a state of utter relaxation on the beach in front, which conveniently, featured no mosquitoes. funny, huh?
yeah, not bad.
in fact, after a few hours lounging about under a tree, i decided i'd had enough relaxation. it was time to hit chaweng, the town on ko samui where the action happens.
-sg
my 'bed' was the portion to the right of the person in yellow. amenities here included, well, nothing really, unless you count insects.once my full moon experience had come full circle, it was time to move on. i split off from team argentina and headed to ko samui for a little r + r. they were a great group of people, but my minimal spanish skills made me the odd man out in the group. they're sticking together for the next few days, then two of them are going to hong kong while the other hits laos. i may join her up there, if i can work it into my as-of-yet unplanned schedule.
my goal on ko samui was to find a beach bungalow in the middle of nowhere where i could kick my feet up and relax for a few days. i was craving my own space, not to mention a toilet with a seat. after a short boat ride to the island, i rented a bike (i've gone from fearing these things to loving them), and with no map and no idea where i was going, i began to head west. ko samui wasn't set up with travel agencies + taxis waiting around the pier like every other travel destination in the country.
eventually, my bike rolled to a stop just before sunset at a bungalow in mae nam, on the quieter, more peaceful side of the island. at first, my living arrangements there seemed ideal: a flush toilet, fan and bed in a private bungalow about 50 ft from the sand. sure, it woulda been nicer to find a place on the water, but by then it was getting dark, and i was more than happy with a place that accommodated both my weary head and weary ass.
of course, in a lesson i have experienced over and over on this trip, nothing is as it seems. as soon as i turned on the lights in my bungalow, i noticed bugs in the room. lots and lots of bugs. more specifically, mosquitoes. i know it's odd, but i'm just not a fan of these critters, especially not when there are enough of them to form a thin haze in the room. i immediately went to the owner of the place and pleaded for another bungalow. the conversation went something like this:
me: uh, pardon me, but there appear to be a whole bunch of mosquitoes in my room. can i get a different one?
thai lady (smiling): oh, no worry. we have mosquito nets for the windows. (apparently she meant screens, not nets)
me: in my room too?
thai lady (still smiling): yes.
me: well, mine aren't working. in fact, if they are working, all they're doing is keeping the mosquitoes from getting OUT.
thai lady (silent, smiling. thai people love to smile, especially when they're at a loss for words)
me: can i get a different room?
thai lady (smiling, of course): oh no, no more rooms. not for that rate.
apparently, the other rates were a little too high for my liking, and still didn't guarantee against mosquito infestations. but hey, nothing builds character like a whole new test of my endurance and limitations. and bugs or not, at least i had a toilet to call my own. after burning my quads spending a large portion of the last few days in the squatting position, there was no sound i was happier to hear than that of flushing water. i would've stayed in the bathroom all night just listening to that sweet siren song if it weren't for the fact that the skeeters were using that room as their HQ.
the fact that i survived the night with only a single bite is a testament to three things: my bug spray, mosquito coil and mosquito net. up 'til now, i'd only used the spray once on the trip, and the coil + net were still in their original packaging. all of a sudden, my fear of coating myself in stinky, sticky chemicals went out the (mosquito-netted) window. and so what if the instructions for the coils said not to burn them indoors? when the options are choking a little or itching a lot, i'll pick the fumes any day.
here's what my bed in paradise ended up looking like:
yeah, the net wasn't even big enough to cover the whole bed, so i had to weigh down the corners with my bag + a pillow. i slept well enough, considering the conditions, and ended up spending the majority of the next day in a state of utter relaxation on the beach in front, which conveniently, featured no mosquitoes. funny, huh?
yeah, not bad.in fact, after a few hours lounging about under a tree, i decided i'd had enough relaxation. it was time to hit chaweng, the town on ko samui where the action happens.
-sg
2.27.2008
full moon, empty wallet
i'm falling way behind, so i'd better recap what's been happening for the past few days.
feb 24th was the full moon party on ko pha ngan. it was running a few days behind schedule (which is the norm for, well, EVERYTHING here), but managed to go off without a hitch. other than occasional rain showers, of course.
the evening started out with me + the argentinians making the cross-island trek to sunset beach to meet up with a couple of chilean guys they'd met. their hotel was fairly nice, not to mention walking distance from the festivities, and made for a pretty good pre-party spot. as it turns out, the chileans were a really cool group. most of them were jewish, and when they found out i was a member of the tribe, they treated me like a brother. after several rounds of brandy and fernet branca (a potent italian spirit that the argentinians go CRAZY for), we deemed ourselves party-worthy, and headed to the sand with a few israeli girls from the hotel. heebs are out in full force on this island. it's always nice knowing i'm not the hairiest guy around.
wow, what a sight! picture thousands of people on the sand in various states of dress, waving glowsticks and covered in day-glo paint, dancing to techno/trance/drum+bass/whatever other repetitive beats europeans go gaga for. and yeah, most of the partiers were westerners, but the locals played their part as well. they lined the sand selling food + booze by the highly inflated bucket, which didn't hold anyone back. the thais also contributed to the mix by adding a healthy dose of prostitutes. well, i can only assume they were prostitutes.
now, i happen to be exceptionally good looking, and i'm used to women to throwing themselves at me, offering me drinks, food, presents, or whatever else it takes to get my attention. that's right, i rock. but when a bunch of girls, i mean a whole bunch of girls, all go through these motions in a matter of minutes, it can only mean one thing: their love comes at a price. so yeah, to put it nicely, the full moon party was crawling with whores. and the kicker is, most of these women weren't really women, but (drumroll) ladyboys. yeah, they do stick out. well, most of them do, at least. some were still really ambiguous. but you know what, for most of them, all the plastic surgery in the world ain't gonna hide those large hands and broad shoulders.
watching the 'girls' in action made for quite a sight. some of them were doing quite well at landing guys. were they too drunk to notice, or did they just not care? or where they totally, willingly and knowingly into it? i wish i knew.
in all, the party was fun, but i got separated from everyone i went with. it would've been a lot more enjoyable dancing and laughing at the ladyboys if i'd done it with the people i knew.
here's a few pics...
argentina, chile + u.s.a.
steve, juan + clara.
random partiers.
fire dancer.
-sg
feb 24th was the full moon party on ko pha ngan. it was running a few days behind schedule (which is the norm for, well, EVERYTHING here), but managed to go off without a hitch. other than occasional rain showers, of course.
the evening started out with me + the argentinians making the cross-island trek to sunset beach to meet up with a couple of chilean guys they'd met. their hotel was fairly nice, not to mention walking distance from the festivities, and made for a pretty good pre-party spot. as it turns out, the chileans were a really cool group. most of them were jewish, and when they found out i was a member of the tribe, they treated me like a brother. after several rounds of brandy and fernet branca (a potent italian spirit that the argentinians go CRAZY for), we deemed ourselves party-worthy, and headed to the sand with a few israeli girls from the hotel. heebs are out in full force on this island. it's always nice knowing i'm not the hairiest guy around.
wow, what a sight! picture thousands of people on the sand in various states of dress, waving glowsticks and covered in day-glo paint, dancing to techno/trance/drum+bass/whatever other repetitive beats europeans go gaga for. and yeah, most of the partiers were westerners, but the locals played their part as well. they lined the sand selling food + booze by the highly inflated bucket, which didn't hold anyone back. the thais also contributed to the mix by adding a healthy dose of prostitutes. well, i can only assume they were prostitutes.
now, i happen to be exceptionally good looking, and i'm used to women to throwing themselves at me, offering me drinks, food, presents, or whatever else it takes to get my attention. that's right, i rock. but when a bunch of girls, i mean a whole bunch of girls, all go through these motions in a matter of minutes, it can only mean one thing: their love comes at a price. so yeah, to put it nicely, the full moon party was crawling with whores. and the kicker is, most of these women weren't really women, but (drumroll) ladyboys. yeah, they do stick out. well, most of them do, at least. some were still really ambiguous. but you know what, for most of them, all the plastic surgery in the world ain't gonna hide those large hands and broad shoulders.
watching the 'girls' in action made for quite a sight. some of them were doing quite well at landing guys. were they too drunk to notice, or did they just not care? or where they totally, willingly and knowingly into it? i wish i knew.
in all, the party was fun, but i got separated from everyone i went with. it would've been a lot more enjoyable dancing and laughing at the ladyboys if i'd done it with the people i knew.
here's a few pics...
argentina, chile + u.s.a.
steve, juan + clara.
random partiers.
fire dancer.
-sg
a few pics (hopefully)
i'm way behind in posting details from the last several days, but since i finally found a reasonably quick internet connection, i'm gonna use it to put up some photos instead. more stories soon.
of the many backwards cultural phenomena i've experienced on a daily basis in thailand, it's the europeans who shock me the most. oh, the irony.
big buddha, ko samui island.
wooden dock, bo phut, ko samui.
smoky sunbeams in karen village hut, chiang mai.
waterfall near chiang mai, w/aurora + clara.
reclining buddha @ wat pho, bangkok. oops, it's sideways.
hat rin nai, ko pha ngan
east meets west @ full moon party, ko pha ngan.
this is what the thai call an "appetizer."
the main course (they were alive + splashing).
jesus, i finally found a food i'm not scared to eat, and they still manage to make it look freaky.
eneko + steve w/stampy, near chiang mai.
karen woman (one of the hill people), near chiang mai. for pants, she wore the traditional karen cut-off jean shorts (not pictured), which the natives call "daisy dukes."
that's it for now. enjoy!
-sg
of the many backwards cultural phenomena i've experienced on a daily basis in thailand, it's the europeans who shock me the most. oh, the irony.
big buddha, ko samui island.
wooden dock, bo phut, ko samui.
smoky sunbeams in karen village hut, chiang mai.
waterfall near chiang mai, w/aurora + clara.
reclining buddha @ wat pho, bangkok. oops, it's sideways.
hat rin nai, ko pha ngan
east meets west @ full moon party, ko pha ngan.
this is what the thai call an "appetizer."
the main course (they were alive + splashing).
jesus, i finally found a food i'm not scared to eat, and they still manage to make it look freaky.
eneko + steve w/stampy, near chiang mai.
karen woman (one of the hill people), near chiang mai. for pants, she wore the traditional karen cut-off jean shorts (not pictured), which the natives call "daisy dukes."
that's it for now. enjoy!
-sg
2.23.2008
white-knuckled stupidity
i hope that last post wasn't too much of a downer. i am having a good time here, it's just hard to enjoy yourself when you perpetually feel like crap. here's a small sample of what's been happening for the past few days...
after returning to bangkok from chiang mai, i joined up with clara, the argentinian from my trek, to go to ko pha ngan for the full moon party. she planned to meet up with a few of her fellow countrymen to head down, but beforehand, we had some time to kill in bangkok. we saw a few temples, an amazing reclining buddha, and at night, visited the sukhomvit neighborhood. this was the first legitimate part of the city i'd seen, the part where all the stories of sin and debauchery originate. i'll probably write more about it at a later point, as it was a very intense place.
anyways, after sleeping on a bed that felt more like a sheet of drywall than a mattress, we met up with her friends juan and mary, and began the long, cramped quest down south. the 10-hour bus ride sucked, and the nearly 4 hour boat ride which followed wasn't much better. at least the scenery was better from the latter.
once we arrived on ko pha ngan, we faced a few problems. for one, we needed to find a room. apparently, the whole island was booked on account of the party. for another, the party had been delayed 48 hours on account of the national election. great, now we needed 3 nights of inflated rates as opposed to one. well, we lucked out, 'cause a lady offered us an opportunity to stay in her "spa" for about $5/person. though it was far from our intended beach destination, the price was right (vs. $100+ from other quotes we'd gotten), and we had no option but to take it. she turned out to be really cool, but the place has been a nightmare. it's in complete disrepair, with no real bed, no kitchen, the horrible bathroom i described previously, and yeah, no lights in the bedroom. sure, there are plenty of light fixtures (8 by my count), but the bulbs are either missing or burned out. and there are cobwebs + bugs everywhere, but you know, that's kinda the norm by now. oh, and a little more about the sleeping arrangements: it's not so much beds, but a giant wooden box on which there are 3 wafer-thin bed mats and 4 pillows. and one of these pillows isn't so much a pillow as it is a cylindrical tube with a spiderman design on it. and while there is a very soothing-looking a/c unit in the corner of the room, it's merely for show. we instead have to rely on a single oscillating fan to keep cool. the four seasons it is not.
once the sleeping arrangements were addressed, we needed to figure out transportation. most people get around the island via motorbikes, and we were no exception. for the argentinians, motorbikes are nothing new. however, having never ridden one before, and with a bicycle history that has involved two trips over the handlebars in the past two years,* i was a little concerned for my safety. plus, this is not exactly the land of strict regulations.
before hitting the road, i made sure to go over a checklist of all the responsibilities and safety-measures one should take when renting a vehicle in a foreign country:
helmet? check.
proof of insurance? check.
international driver's license? check.
knowledge of thai laws, speed limits, restrictions? check.
map of island? check.
inspected bike for working parts/accessories? check.
learned basics of operating? check.
proper footwear/clothing for operating? check.
adjusted side-view mirrors? check.
knowledge of who to call, where to go in case of emergency? check.
name of rental place? check.
i should mention here that "check" is thai for "no." well, it's not, but you get the point. somehow, in the span of two minutes, i walked up to a rental place, and without any showing of papers, licenses, or even knowledge of what the fuck i was doing, i sat on a bike, fired it up, and rode perilously off to the sunset. well, off to sunset beach, actually. that's where all the action happens on ko pha ngan. for some reason, the lady at the rental place assumed that both juan's passport and knowledge of bikes would be sufficient coverage for both of us. in ranks of stupid things i have done in my life, this is probably a very close second. the only reason it isn't #1 is 'cause i haven't crashed.**
as it turns out, riding a motorbike isn't all that hard. well, it isn't now that i've survived the first day. there was something about learning on the fly, in particular learning on the fly on the left-hand side of the road, in a land with undiscernable street signs, countless potholes, stray dogs, piles of dirt, trees growing in the middle of the road (yes, really), aggressive locals who don't think twice to pass blindly on the steepest of hills and curves, and yes, the steepest of hills and curves i've ever seen. some of them were graded at 20%, which as far as i know, is the same as the most intense ones in s.f.
i had a couple scary moments at first, and as it turns out, most trouble could be averted by taking my hand off the accelerator when i started to panic. despite having a death-grip on the handles the whole time, we made it to sunset beach. i am told that the scenery was amazing on the way there, but i was too scared to take my eyes off the road to find out.
crap, i'll have to fill in more later. and ideally, more pics soon.
* on the beach path, of all places.
** so far.
after returning to bangkok from chiang mai, i joined up with clara, the argentinian from my trek, to go to ko pha ngan for the full moon party. she planned to meet up with a few of her fellow countrymen to head down, but beforehand, we had some time to kill in bangkok. we saw a few temples, an amazing reclining buddha, and at night, visited the sukhomvit neighborhood. this was the first legitimate part of the city i'd seen, the part where all the stories of sin and debauchery originate. i'll probably write more about it at a later point, as it was a very intense place.
anyways, after sleeping on a bed that felt more like a sheet of drywall than a mattress, we met up with her friends juan and mary, and began the long, cramped quest down south. the 10-hour bus ride sucked, and the nearly 4 hour boat ride which followed wasn't much better. at least the scenery was better from the latter.
once we arrived on ko pha ngan, we faced a few problems. for one, we needed to find a room. apparently, the whole island was booked on account of the party. for another, the party had been delayed 48 hours on account of the national election. great, now we needed 3 nights of inflated rates as opposed to one. well, we lucked out, 'cause a lady offered us an opportunity to stay in her "spa" for about $5/person. though it was far from our intended beach destination, the price was right (vs. $100+ from other quotes we'd gotten), and we had no option but to take it. she turned out to be really cool, but the place has been a nightmare. it's in complete disrepair, with no real bed, no kitchen, the horrible bathroom i described previously, and yeah, no lights in the bedroom. sure, there are plenty of light fixtures (8 by my count), but the bulbs are either missing or burned out. and there are cobwebs + bugs everywhere, but you know, that's kinda the norm by now. oh, and a little more about the sleeping arrangements: it's not so much beds, but a giant wooden box on which there are 3 wafer-thin bed mats and 4 pillows. and one of these pillows isn't so much a pillow as it is a cylindrical tube with a spiderman design on it. and while there is a very soothing-looking a/c unit in the corner of the room, it's merely for show. we instead have to rely on a single oscillating fan to keep cool. the four seasons it is not.
once the sleeping arrangements were addressed, we needed to figure out transportation. most people get around the island via motorbikes, and we were no exception. for the argentinians, motorbikes are nothing new. however, having never ridden one before, and with a bicycle history that has involved two trips over the handlebars in the past two years,* i was a little concerned for my safety. plus, this is not exactly the land of strict regulations.
before hitting the road, i made sure to go over a checklist of all the responsibilities and safety-measures one should take when renting a vehicle in a foreign country:
helmet? check.
proof of insurance? check.
international driver's license? check.
knowledge of thai laws, speed limits, restrictions? check.
map of island? check.
inspected bike for working parts/accessories? check.
learned basics of operating? check.
proper footwear/clothing for operating? check.
adjusted side-view mirrors? check.
knowledge of who to call, where to go in case of emergency? check.
name of rental place? check.
i should mention here that "check" is thai for "no." well, it's not, but you get the point. somehow, in the span of two minutes, i walked up to a rental place, and without any showing of papers, licenses, or even knowledge of what the fuck i was doing, i sat on a bike, fired it up, and rode perilously off to the sunset. well, off to sunset beach, actually. that's where all the action happens on ko pha ngan. for some reason, the lady at the rental place assumed that both juan's passport and knowledge of bikes would be sufficient coverage for both of us. in ranks of stupid things i have done in my life, this is probably a very close second. the only reason it isn't #1 is 'cause i haven't crashed.**
as it turns out, riding a motorbike isn't all that hard. well, it isn't now that i've survived the first day. there was something about learning on the fly, in particular learning on the fly on the left-hand side of the road, in a land with undiscernable street signs, countless potholes, stray dogs, piles of dirt, trees growing in the middle of the road (yes, really), aggressive locals who don't think twice to pass blindly on the steepest of hills and curves, and yes, the steepest of hills and curves i've ever seen. some of them were graded at 20%, which as far as i know, is the same as the most intense ones in s.f.
i had a couple scary moments at first, and as it turns out, most trouble could be averted by taking my hand off the accelerator when i started to panic. despite having a death-grip on the handles the whole time, we made it to sunset beach. i am told that the scenery was amazing on the way there, but i was too scared to take my eyes off the road to find out.
crap, i'll have to fill in more later. and ideally, more pics soon.
* on the beach path, of all places.
** so far.
you don't know squat
i am buck naked. in order to keep my clothes from being soiled by myself or the wet floor, i hang them precariously from the driftwood that decorates the bathroom wall. with my few remaining sheets of toilet paper clutched squarely in my hand, i squat over the miserable guest house toilet and prepare for the worst. for the past few days, my digestive system has been skipping a very important step it normally uses for processing food. everything is coming out in liquid form, in a color that probably never existed in the visual spectrum up 'til now. to make matters worse, it carries a spiciness that far surpasses anything i've eaten on the trip. the wafer-thin sheets of paper i stole from nicer bathrooms feel like habanero-infused razor wire as i clean myself. i want nothing more than to sit at this moment and relax, but the squat toilet offers no such amenities. my body is breaking out in a sweat. looking down, i notice a mosquito circling my ankle. i swat at him with my free hand, careful not to throw myself off balance. i finally grab him, but am shocked to discover my hand won't close entirely. there appears to be a mosquito bite, or splinter, or who knows, maybe something entirely new forming on the knuckle of my pinky. i drop the crushed mosquito into the vile stew bubbling below me, and for that brief moment, i almost feel victorious. i have just conquered one of the countless threats to my health in this country. this feeling of elation is short-lived, as now two more of his siblings have come to take his place.
before i can turn my attention to them, a cockroach the size of a small dog scuttles from the wall next to me to somewhere behind me. i'd seen him before and had already come to grips with his existence; i just prefer that he stay in my line of sight, where i know what he's doing. as much temptation as there is to crush him, i avoid it. for one, he's enormous. striking him might only make him mad. for another, even if i did slay the beast, there'd be no appropriate way to dispose of him. sure, i could use a piece of t.p. to pick him up and drop him down the hatch, but i really don't want to waste a single sheet. the evacuation process continues. in an attempt to perform the local equivalent of a courtesy flush, i reach for the spray nozzle to clean off the toilet surface. oh great, there's no water pressure today. it looks like i'm stuck using a moldy plastic bowl to pour water from the bucket. as i look down over my mosquito-bitten, sunburned form, it dawns on me:
i am on vacation.
not only am i here by choice, but this is the trip of my dreams. this is the place i have wanted to visit ever since my cousin regaled me with his own stories of inexpensive custom suits and wild beach parties more than 10 years ago. this is the land so many of my friends have visited and come back bragging about. i'm finally here, and yes, i am enjoying it, but every little aspect of this country is slowly chipping away at my health and sanity. i can't sleep, i have very little appetite, and with the heat and humidity, every effort to travel and get around town becomes an ordeal. at times, i want to throw in the towel and get the fuck out of here, but i know i'm strong enough to handle this, and hopefully any other challenges that arise. besides, i may need to use that towel for toilet paper soon.
on my last vacation, a 10-day trip to colorado in january, my biggest concern was having to drive 20 miles through a snowstorm one night. piloting a GPS-enabled, OnStar supported, 4-wheel drive fortress on wheels through a couple of flakes of crystallized water, from one ski condo to another. at, the time, i was scared, and that seemed about as intimidating as a vacation could get. now, i am standing (squatting, actually) in a land where anything and everything can kill me: the water, the food, the polluted air, the insects, the drivers, they all pose a threat. while i feel like crap, i'm still confident knowing that things can be much worse. at least this bathroom has a light (the bedroom doesn't). at least i'm not throwing up. at least the car that clipped me the other day only hit my backpack, and only with the side-view mirror.
christ, this place is tough. while my dreams of endless expanses of tropical beaches have been replaced by the all-too-graphic images of throngs of middle-aged swedish men in speedos, i'm still getting everything i wanted out of the trip: adventure. new experiences. living and learning. sites and stories i could only dream about before. every dish of curry and rice that rides the digestive superhighway to the toilet makes me appreciate the food, bathrooms and all the amenities of home that much more. we are spoiled. we are so fucking spoiled that it makes me want to cry.
before i can turn my attention to them, a cockroach the size of a small dog scuttles from the wall next to me to somewhere behind me. i'd seen him before and had already come to grips with his existence; i just prefer that he stay in my line of sight, where i know what he's doing. as much temptation as there is to crush him, i avoid it. for one, he's enormous. striking him might only make him mad. for another, even if i did slay the beast, there'd be no appropriate way to dispose of him. sure, i could use a piece of t.p. to pick him up and drop him down the hatch, but i really don't want to waste a single sheet. the evacuation process continues. in an attempt to perform the local equivalent of a courtesy flush, i reach for the spray nozzle to clean off the toilet surface. oh great, there's no water pressure today. it looks like i'm stuck using a moldy plastic bowl to pour water from the bucket. as i look down over my mosquito-bitten, sunburned form, it dawns on me:
i am on vacation.
not only am i here by choice, but this is the trip of my dreams. this is the place i have wanted to visit ever since my cousin regaled me with his own stories of inexpensive custom suits and wild beach parties more than 10 years ago. this is the land so many of my friends have visited and come back bragging about. i'm finally here, and yes, i am enjoying it, but every little aspect of this country is slowly chipping away at my health and sanity. i can't sleep, i have very little appetite, and with the heat and humidity, every effort to travel and get around town becomes an ordeal. at times, i want to throw in the towel and get the fuck out of here, but i know i'm strong enough to handle this, and hopefully any other challenges that arise. besides, i may need to use that towel for toilet paper soon.
on my last vacation, a 10-day trip to colorado in january, my biggest concern was having to drive 20 miles through a snowstorm one night. piloting a GPS-enabled, OnStar supported, 4-wheel drive fortress on wheels through a couple of flakes of crystallized water, from one ski condo to another. at, the time, i was scared, and that seemed about as intimidating as a vacation could get. now, i am standing (squatting, actually) in a land where anything and everything can kill me: the water, the food, the polluted air, the insects, the drivers, they all pose a threat. while i feel like crap, i'm still confident knowing that things can be much worse. at least this bathroom has a light (the bedroom doesn't). at least i'm not throwing up. at least the car that clipped me the other day only hit my backpack, and only with the side-view mirror.
christ, this place is tough. while my dreams of endless expanses of tropical beaches have been replaced by the all-too-graphic images of throngs of middle-aged swedish men in speedos, i'm still getting everything i wanted out of the trip: adventure. new experiences. living and learning. sites and stories i could only dream about before. every dish of curry and rice that rides the digestive superhighway to the toilet makes me appreciate the food, bathrooms and all the amenities of home that much more. we are spoiled. we are so fucking spoiled that it makes me want to cry.
2.21.2008
some pics
i really haven't had a chance to review my pics, but in the few minutes i have right now, i'm gonna try to upload some. unfortunately, my connection is painfully slow, so i only have time for a few.
scuplture on top of golden mount, bangkok.
sukhomvit, bangkok.
scuplture on top of golden mount, bangkok.
sukhomvit, bangkok.
more soon, hopefully!
-sg
recap
i'd love to regale everyone with my observances of all the backwardsness and absurdity that is life in thailand, but first i should give a quick history of what my trip has entailed up 'til now. it's been about a week (i'm having trouble keeping track, as i've all but lost the ability to sleep), so i'll make this as short as possible...
i arrived in bangkok just after midnight on feb. 15th, and headed straight to khao san road in the banglamphu neighborhood. this is the backpacker's ghetto, and supposedly a good place to acclimate yourself. it's also an ideal spot for starting up conversations with dreadlocked europeans who left their soap at home. my first impressions of this place were that it's ridiculously overcrowded, and full of people who want to sell you anything under the sun (tours, food, booze, clothes, fake IDs, trinkets, themselves, etc). after a few hrs. sleep, i walked around town a bit, and met an interesting guy from chiang mai (northern thailand) who showed me all around the area and helped to fill me in on thai life and culture. after grabbing a few drinks, he took me by a TAT office (official thai gov't approved travel agency), and convinced me to take a a 3-day trek based outta his home town. was he a tout trying to sell me on this, or someone just proud of his own turf who wanted to make sure it was enjoyed by others? i don't know, but maybe it's not a coincidence that we went to grab drinks before receiving a sales pitch at the agency. seeing as i wanted to head up to chiang mai anyway, i went ahead and signed up with them. at least with a planned tour, i'd be sure to get travel accomodations, as well as an elephant ride, visit to a hill tribe, and a bamboo rafting trip.
though the TAT office had a nice, professional atmosphere, it turns out they are just as ass-backwards as everything else in this country. they botched my ride to the airport, took me to see the wrong tribe (a mellow mountain people who subside on hawking their wares to tourists, as opposed to the long-necked freaky looking folks who i was looking forward to gawking at), and apparently didn't secure our guest house rooms on the final night. in all, they were a total hassle. fuck them and the elephants they rode in on.
in actuality, the trek was a lot of fun. there were 8 of us in total, ranging from such obscure locales as argentina, spain and venice, california. that's right, after traveling over 9,000 miles, i'm hanging on to dear life in the back of a pickup with someone from my own neighborhood.
our adventures started with the elephant ride, which was mildly entertaining. sure, it was fun, but like a jet-ski, the appeal was a novelty that wore off after about 5 minutes. however, unlike a jet-ski, there were was the looming threat that the tempremental beast would shake me off and stomp me to death at any moment. i think my favorite part of the ride was when my elephant (i called him Stampy) stopped to let loose an earth-shaking fart and bowel movement. like me, Stampy's also not fond of squat toilets; he went right in the middle of the trail. thankfully, he was the lead elephant. i felt bad for everyone behind me. and even worse for everyone behind my elephant!
afterwards, we began the trek, which was to take us to various outposts over the next couple nights. we got to see a few of those rice-growing steppes, which were quite a sight, but are apparently far more beautiful during the wet season (i.e., a few months from now). other than that, the hiking really wasn't much different than going through the woods of wisconsin. just a few bigger bugs, which carried more threatening diseases. our first night was spent with members of the karen tribe. well, it wasn't exactly spent with them, just near them. the only interactions we had were trying desperately to turn down their excessive hawking of goods. i think a few of us were guilted into buying various trinkets, in part to help out the tribe, but also in an (unsuccessful) attempt to get them to leave us alone. though the karen people speak their own language, they have no words for "no thank you" or "personal space."
afterwards, more trekking, visits to waterfalls, and finally, the bamboo rafting trip. this part was a hoot. picture nine thick bamboo reeds of various lengths tied together. now throw one gondolier on top, and a handful of tourists behind him. this was an amazingly fun (and dangerous) way to wind down the excursion. we ran into rocks, the shore, other rafts, splashing each other and yelling for dear life the whole way. needless to say, bamboo does not make for great footholds. we were nearly thrown off a handful of times, and a couple of the less fortunate rafts capsized. i found out afterwards that there have been a few fatalities on this trip, which really isn't surprising.
so, the trek came to an end, i spent another night in chiang mai, then headed back to bangkok and now have plans to leave in a few hours for the full moon party on kho pha ngan island, down south. i've heard mixed reviews of what to expect, but i can be certain that i'll have to face an endless supply of backpackers and techno music. should be interesting, to say the least.
i'll try to add more soon, and hopefully some pictures.
i arrived in bangkok just after midnight on feb. 15th, and headed straight to khao san road in the banglamphu neighborhood. this is the backpacker's ghetto, and supposedly a good place to acclimate yourself. it's also an ideal spot for starting up conversations with dreadlocked europeans who left their soap at home. my first impressions of this place were that it's ridiculously overcrowded, and full of people who want to sell you anything under the sun (tours, food, booze, clothes, fake IDs, trinkets, themselves, etc). after a few hrs. sleep, i walked around town a bit, and met an interesting guy from chiang mai (northern thailand) who showed me all around the area and helped to fill me in on thai life and culture. after grabbing a few drinks, he took me by a TAT office (official thai gov't approved travel agency), and convinced me to take a a 3-day trek based outta his home town. was he a tout trying to sell me on this, or someone just proud of his own turf who wanted to make sure it was enjoyed by others? i don't know, but maybe it's not a coincidence that we went to grab drinks before receiving a sales pitch at the agency. seeing as i wanted to head up to chiang mai anyway, i went ahead and signed up with them. at least with a planned tour, i'd be sure to get travel accomodations, as well as an elephant ride, visit to a hill tribe, and a bamboo rafting trip.
though the TAT office had a nice, professional atmosphere, it turns out they are just as ass-backwards as everything else in this country. they botched my ride to the airport, took me to see the wrong tribe (a mellow mountain people who subside on hawking their wares to tourists, as opposed to the long-necked freaky looking folks who i was looking forward to gawking at), and apparently didn't secure our guest house rooms on the final night. in all, they were a total hassle. fuck them and the elephants they rode in on.
in actuality, the trek was a lot of fun. there were 8 of us in total, ranging from such obscure locales as argentina, spain and venice, california. that's right, after traveling over 9,000 miles, i'm hanging on to dear life in the back of a pickup with someone from my own neighborhood.
our adventures started with the elephant ride, which was mildly entertaining. sure, it was fun, but like a jet-ski, the appeal was a novelty that wore off after about 5 minutes. however, unlike a jet-ski, there were was the looming threat that the tempremental beast would shake me off and stomp me to death at any moment. i think my favorite part of the ride was when my elephant (i called him Stampy) stopped to let loose an earth-shaking fart and bowel movement. like me, Stampy's also not fond of squat toilets; he went right in the middle of the trail. thankfully, he was the lead elephant. i felt bad for everyone behind me. and even worse for everyone behind my elephant!
afterwards, we began the trek, which was to take us to various outposts over the next couple nights. we got to see a few of those rice-growing steppes, which were quite a sight, but are apparently far more beautiful during the wet season (i.e., a few months from now). other than that, the hiking really wasn't much different than going through the woods of wisconsin. just a few bigger bugs, which carried more threatening diseases. our first night was spent with members of the karen tribe. well, it wasn't exactly spent with them, just near them. the only interactions we had were trying desperately to turn down their excessive hawking of goods. i think a few of us were guilted into buying various trinkets, in part to help out the tribe, but also in an (unsuccessful) attempt to get them to leave us alone. though the karen people speak their own language, they have no words for "no thank you" or "personal space."
afterwards, more trekking, visits to waterfalls, and finally, the bamboo rafting trip. this part was a hoot. picture nine thick bamboo reeds of various lengths tied together. now throw one gondolier on top, and a handful of tourists behind him. this was an amazingly fun (and dangerous) way to wind down the excursion. we ran into rocks, the shore, other rafts, splashing each other and yelling for dear life the whole way. needless to say, bamboo does not make for great footholds. we were nearly thrown off a handful of times, and a couple of the less fortunate rafts capsized. i found out afterwards that there have been a few fatalities on this trip, which really isn't surprising.
so, the trek came to an end, i spent another night in chiang mai, then headed back to bangkok and now have plans to leave in a few hours for the full moon party on kho pha ngan island, down south. i've heard mixed reviews of what to expect, but i can be certain that i'll have to face an endless supply of backpackers and techno music. should be interesting, to say the least.
i'll try to add more soon, and hopefully some pictures.
2.19.2008
thai 101
a few important words/phrases to know when visiting thailand:*
hello: sa-wat-dii khrap
please: ka-ru-naa khrap
thank you: khawp khun khrap
ladyboy: kathoey
toilet paper: n/a
that's right. when it comes to using the bathroom in thailand, toilet paper is merely a pipe dream. in fact, pipes themselves are a pipe dream, as indoor plumbing is more or less nonexistant. thankfully, i was informed of this fact before i arrived, and had the forethought to pack a single roll of t.p. for my 6-week trip, which by my own estimation, is only a few days supply under the best of conditions**. though i was mentally prepared for a month and a half of getting dry off my own supply, i hadn't really put any thought into what the locals do when it comes to wiping.
as it turns out, the reality of the situation is far messier than i would've ever imagined. first of all, most toilets here aren't actually toilets with a rim, or seat, or flushing mechanism, or reservoir, or any other aspect that would deem it worthy of the name "toilet." in fact, the only thing toilets out here have in common with the ones from home is a hole. these, my friends, are squat toilets, and apparently they're all the rage in this part of the world. they pretty much look like giant kleenex boxes that sit on the ground, and as the name entails, you squat over it, do your duty, then use a spray hose (if you're lucky) or a bucket of water with a little pail to clean yourself. yeah, really***. and what's worse, with no plumbing, you have to pour water from said bucket into the toilet to force your business down the hole and outta sight. any way you look at it, it's not a pretty sight. or smell. thankfully, i've encountered a few western-style toilets, but these still need a bucket of water dumped on them to be "flushed." it took a very upset hotel clerk to provide a visual demonstration at 2 a.m. on my first night for me to figure this out.
but don't worry, thailand's not all squat toilets and stinky trash bins. there's also the matter of food. apparently, there are two types of thai food: the kind you encounter in thai restaurants at home, and the kind people eat in thailand. oddly enough, there is very little similarity between the two. in the restaurants we all know and love, there's an endless supply of noodles and curries of various degrees of spiciness to keep you satisfied. out here, well, they still have that in restaurants, but when it comes to street vendors, where most food is found, i still have no idea what they're serving. i have found the occasional fried chicken or pad thai vendor, but for every one of them there's someone selling worms, crickets, various inedible-looking fish, chicken feet, and other mish-mashes of colors and smells that just don't exist at home. as much as i'd like to be adventurous, i just can't bring myself to try anything that has the potential to give me quality time hovering over a squat toilet.
i'd love to continue regaling everyone with my misadventures, but i have to find some people i met before we all go our separate ways in the morning. but don't fear: thailand isn't all shitty food and shitty shitting situations. the people are great, the scenery is beautiful, and the ladyboys have been totally avoidable so far.****
-sg
*assuming you can remember them, which i can't.
**se asia is NOT the best of conditions.
*** i shit you not.
****that, or they're so well altered, i just can't identify them.
hello: sa-wat-dii khrap
please: ka-ru-naa khrap
thank you: khawp khun khrap
ladyboy: kathoey
toilet paper: n/a
that's right. when it comes to using the bathroom in thailand, toilet paper is merely a pipe dream. in fact, pipes themselves are a pipe dream, as indoor plumbing is more or less nonexistant. thankfully, i was informed of this fact before i arrived, and had the forethought to pack a single roll of t.p. for my 6-week trip, which by my own estimation, is only a few days supply under the best of conditions**. though i was mentally prepared for a month and a half of getting dry off my own supply, i hadn't really put any thought into what the locals do when it comes to wiping.
as it turns out, the reality of the situation is far messier than i would've ever imagined. first of all, most toilets here aren't actually toilets with a rim, or seat, or flushing mechanism, or reservoir, or any other aspect that would deem it worthy of the name "toilet." in fact, the only thing toilets out here have in common with the ones from home is a hole. these, my friends, are squat toilets, and apparently they're all the rage in this part of the world. they pretty much look like giant kleenex boxes that sit on the ground, and as the name entails, you squat over it, do your duty, then use a spray hose (if you're lucky) or a bucket of water with a little pail to clean yourself. yeah, really***. and what's worse, with no plumbing, you have to pour water from said bucket into the toilet to force your business down the hole and outta sight. any way you look at it, it's not a pretty sight. or smell. thankfully, i've encountered a few western-style toilets, but these still need a bucket of water dumped on them to be "flushed." it took a very upset hotel clerk to provide a visual demonstration at 2 a.m. on my first night for me to figure this out.
but don't worry, thailand's not all squat toilets and stinky trash bins. there's also the matter of food. apparently, there are two types of thai food: the kind you encounter in thai restaurants at home, and the kind people eat in thailand. oddly enough, there is very little similarity between the two. in the restaurants we all know and love, there's an endless supply of noodles and curries of various degrees of spiciness to keep you satisfied. out here, well, they still have that in restaurants, but when it comes to street vendors, where most food is found, i still have no idea what they're serving. i have found the occasional fried chicken or pad thai vendor, but for every one of them there's someone selling worms, crickets, various inedible-looking fish, chicken feet, and other mish-mashes of colors and smells that just don't exist at home. as much as i'd like to be adventurous, i just can't bring myself to try anything that has the potential to give me quality time hovering over a squat toilet.
i'd love to continue regaling everyone with my misadventures, but i have to find some people i met before we all go our separate ways in the morning. but don't fear: thailand isn't all shitty food and shitty shitting situations. the people are great, the scenery is beautiful, and the ladyboys have been totally avoidable so far.****
-sg
*assuming you can remember them, which i can't.
**se asia is NOT the best of conditions.
*** i shit you not.
****that, or they're so well altered, i just can't identify them.
2.13.2008
t minus 11 hours
in a few short hours, my flight takes off for bangkok, and if history has taught me anything, it's going to be a long night of packing and wrapping up all the crap i should've attended to hours, or even days (and weeks) ago. i've done very little research on bangkok itself, but thankfully i've got more than 25 hours of plane/airport time in which to get cozy with my guide books before i actually set foot in the city. 25 hours? crap, i'll practically be a local by the time my plane lands.
so far, my only preparations for spending 6 weeks in se asia have been eating asian food and getting sick. i definitely prefer the former. i also watched this video. though it is both entertaining and informative, i have a feeling things may have changed a bit there since 1984. now, if i could just find something on youtube that'll teach me how to avoid ladyboys. my guide books don't cover that most sensitive of subjects.
so far, my only preparations for spending 6 weeks in se asia have been eating asian food and getting sick. i definitely prefer the former. i also watched this video. though it is both entertaining and informative, i have a feeling things may have changed a bit there since 1984. now, if i could just find something on youtube that'll teach me how to avoid ladyboys. my guide books don't cover that most sensitive of subjects.
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